YOU ACCIDENTALLY SENT THE MAFIA BOSS THE WRONG ULTRASOUND—MINUTES LATER HE CLAIMED THE BABY, BUT NEVER EXPECTED YOU TO CLAIM YOUR OWN STRENGTH

invited. He studied pregnancy books with alarming dedication and once texted you at two in the morning asking whether soft cheeses were genuinely dangerous or simply “American medical cowardice.”

You replied:

Do not declare war on Brie at 2 a.m.

His response arrived moments later.

For the child, I will spare the cheese.

You laughed.

That scared you.

Laughter continue reading …